She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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