She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
