Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
