Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
