My sheets look like a crime scene.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
