when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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