i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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