naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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