After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
