just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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