There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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