Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You dont lie about slip and slides
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
