She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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