its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she smelled like a LAN party
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
