I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
