So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
