Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
