I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You've changed since you got that strap on
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
