I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
