And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
