I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
