You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
