hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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