I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
operation have a gay friend backfired
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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