I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
