i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
