I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Of course I have a pirate flag
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
