Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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