So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
