She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
