guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
