Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
