Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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