FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
