Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
