This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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