Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
