So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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