Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
