i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
