I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
