Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize