the day after is always just damage control
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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