I bet he comes in French.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
