I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I need moral support for this bender
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
