jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
