sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
