i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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