definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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