im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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