If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
