If i come over, it means nothing
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
