I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
