please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
