Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
