I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
