I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
