Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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