Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
