so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
