So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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