Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
