Where is the hickey?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think I sprained my soul last night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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