All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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