the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
