So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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