He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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